function randomMessage() {

        var cc = new Array(26)
        cc[0] = "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.-- Gene Hill"
        cc[1] = "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.-- Dave Barry"
        cc[2] = "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.-- Nora Ephron"
        cc[3] = "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.-- Groucho Marx"
        cc[4] = "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.-- Aldous Huxley"
        cc[5] = "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.-- Robert Benchley"
        cc[6] = "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives.-- Sue Murphy"
        cc[7] = "I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.-- August Strindberg"
        cc[8] = "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.-- Fran Lebowitz"
        cc[9] = "Ever consider what dogs must think of us?  I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!-- Anne Tyler"
        cc[10] = "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.-- Rita Rudner"
        cc[11] = "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.-- Joe Weinstein"
        cc[12] = "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.-- James Thurber"
        cc[13] = "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.-- Ann Landers"
        cc[14] = "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.-- Robert A.  Heinlein"
        cc[15] = "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.-- Dereke Bruce"
        cc[16] = "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!-- Dr. Tom Cat"
        cc[17] = "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.-- Ben Williams"
        cc[18] = "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.-- Edward Abbey"
        cc[19] = "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.-- Christopher Morley"
        cc[20] = "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.-- Josh Billings"
        cc[21] = "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.-- Holbrook Jackson"
        cc[22] = "The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -- Anonymous"
		cc[23] = "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -- Andy Rooney"
		cc[24] = "Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -- Franklin P. Jones"
		cc[25] = "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -- Mark Twain"
		cc[26] = "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' -- Dave Barry"


var now = new Date()
        var sec = now.getSeconds()
        alert("\r" + cc[sec % 26])
}